The dream: Hairy armpits 71

Dear Miss Fishbone, we regret to inform you that we will have to reject your submission.

Your face looks like it's been through war and your nose needs to be broken again.

Your body hair is unseemly and quite frankly rather unladylike.

We wish to remind you that we are a publication of quality.

We seek out those tall, lanky, high-breasted girls with fantastic social media followings,